Thursday's visitation information

We have set a time for the visitation
Thursday, December, 10th
5:30pm - 9:30pm

See other entry for location of funeral home

Addendum to the service schedule

After the memorial service on Friday which begins at 10:00am, visitors are welcome to our home. We kindly request visitors to bring any type of food or drink (pot luck style). Our address is 606 Strey Ct., Deer Park, TX. Naturally we do not expect or anticipate our out of town visitors to bring anything.

If anyone has specific questions please call Brook at 970-333-4035.

Looking to see our loved friends and family and having a great time celebrating my mother's life.

Viewing and Memorial Service Information

First thing is first! Mom DOES NOT WANT FLOWERS! Please do not send flowers. At the bottom of this message you will find information for donations in memory of Vicki Yates.

The house is now open for visitors. Feel free to call at 281-476-9525.

Schedule:
Visitation (no viewing) - Thursday, December 10th , 5:30pm-9:30pm
Memorial service - Friday, December 11th, 10:00am

Grand View Funeral Home and Memorial Park
8501 Spencer Highway
Pasadena, TX 77505
281-479-6076

In lieu of flowers please send donations to either:
MD Anderson Medical Center - Glioblastoma Research or
The Breckenridge Outdoor Education Center (BOEC)

You can either send checks to the Grand View Funeral Home and they will distribute the checks accordingly or send directly to the agencies below

Details for MD Anderson Medical Center:
Send checks to PO Box 4486, Houston, TX 77210-4486
Write on subject line, "In Memory of Vicki Yates"

Details for BOEC:
You can either to go www.boec.org and donate electronically or send checks directly to PO Box 697, Breckenridge, CO 80424.

Let their be peace

Exactly six months to the hour after mom woke up numb on the left side of her body she courageously lost the battle to brain cancer and peacefully stopped breathing at 10:00am on December 8th, 2009.

The family respectfully asks for all phone calls and visitors to please wait until we can get details sorted and for further announcements.

Yep...still breathing

It is 11:00pm and mom is still snoring away. The hospice nurse that came by is floored that she is still hanging in there.

Final hours....still

It is 10:00am on Monday morning and mom is still hanging in there fighting for each breathe. From what we can best guess, she is not in pain or discomfort.

We had so much fun yesterday with a house full of people until midnight. Even though Mom was unresponsive, we know she could feel our presence and hear our voices. This is absolutely how mom would want this house. Filled with food, laughter, friends, families, stories, jokes and maybe even a couple of tears.

While talking with my dad and uncle this morning we came to a realization. I wrote in my blog several days ago that mom had asked two friends to speak at her funeral. She did so with such ease and confidence (which in this situation was rare for her). Our interpretation from this is that she knew this was her last day of alertness. It was her way of saying she was ready.

Final Days

As of 10:00pm Mom had been sleeping for 26 hours straight. Her breathing became more and more difficult, with moans and gurgling in her breathing. I continued to give her the most amount of pain medications I was instructed, but nothing seemed to bring her relief. I called on the hour every hour to the hospice nurse when around 3:30 the triage nurse told me that we could be coming up to the end stages of her life.

By 5:00am a hospice nurse arrived and gave us instruction and explained what we can anticipate. In her best guess mom might make it through the day and maybe until tomorrow morning, but regardless of exactly how much time she has we are within the last day or even last hours.

The family including mom's brother Brent and tons of friends have been at the house all day. We have been sitting around her bedside holding her hand, telling stories and laughing. Apparently the last function that remains is hearing. Even though mom cannot move or respond to anything, she can hear every word.

She is now relaxing without pain and several days ago she seemed to be at peace when she asked a couple of her friends to speak at her funeral.

Report from the home

Today was the fourth full day at home. The transition has been tough for mom, dad and I. We are hoping once we get into our rhythm things will go smoother. We do like our main hospice nurse but have already fired our social worker.

At this point this is how hospice is working. We have a nurse, a nurse's aid and a social worker. The nurse comes over 2-3 time a week for 1-2 hours and the nurse's aid comes on different 2-3 days a week for 1-3 hours. The social worker was a joke and offered us little resources.

Yesterday seemed to be a breakthrough for mom. She even asked two of her friends to speak at her funeral. She did so without having a major meltdown. In fact, I do not think she cried once today which is a record. It warms my heart when I can see glimpses of mom feeling at peace with her life nearing its end.

I cannot keep track of how many people have come to visit her at the house. She of course is looking forward to even more traffic. I also cannot say thank you enough to all of her friends. Since hospice is not here around the clock, the visits from friends provides a HUGE amount of respite for my dad and I to do all of the things we need to in order to give optimal care to mom as well as take care of ourselves.

As I have mentioned in previous emails, mom has swam through the array of emotions all week. One minute she is breaking down crying fearing her impending death, then she is sweet as pie, then she is incredibly confused, then she is demanding and wants to crochet or quilt, then she tells a hilarious story and then she passes out mid sentence due to fatigue.

As of today Mom has slept for nearly 30 hours. She woke up briefly in a very confused state.

I learned today that it is not uncommon for this type of brain tumor in this stage for the patient to have a string of days of alertness and a string of days sleeping.

Our goal at this point is to assist mom with days filled free of anxiety, pain and discomfort while achieving the highest state of alertness. This of course is the purpose and goal of hospice care.

Thanks a million times over for the love and support that you are all sending in your individualistic ways.

Mom has tried to explain to me the intense and indescribable love she has for her children. I am not sure if it works reciprocally, but the other day when mom demanded me to snuggle with her in the hospital bed and as I curled up next to her and watched her drift off to sleep, I felt deep in my gut love for my mother that is so intense and indescribable. I suppose the love has come full circle. There is nothing I won't do for my mom (except look for fabric in her stash upstairs - that is what her friends are for) just as there was nothing my mom wouldn't do for me my entire life.

The final departure from MD Anderson

Leaving the hospital felt ceremonial as it truly was the last time we will leave the hospital. As mom rolled down the hospital hallway in the ambulance stretcher nurse after nurse came running down the hall to give her a last good bye, hug and kiss.

As we boarded the ambulance mom had me take a picture of her with one of the EMT's. She then made me pose with the two male EMT's. On the drive she was trying to set me up with one of them - good thing he was engaged because that would have been awkward.

When mom and I arrived home we were greeted by dad and a hospice nurse. There is now a hospital bed in our living room where mom will probably spend much of her time.

Visitors: Anyone is welcome at anytime! Mom loves having company more than anything in the whole world! In regards to scheduling please check in with Bobby 713-826-3778 or Brook 970-333-4035 before making plans.

Prognosis: As many people are aware cancer is unpredictable. No one has put a stamp on mom or given a time line. It is possible (especially in mom's case) that other complications outside of the tumor may take her life. The morale of the story is mom is still very much alive and wanting to push on.

Physical: Her left arm and left leg are in large part non-functioning. She is no longer able to assist with transfers and will not be able to transfer in and out of vehicles. We can transfer her with relative ease from bed to wheelchair so that she can still spend time at her sewing machine and eat in the kitchen area. As I sit here at 12:30am she is still working on a crochet project. Although it has taken her 5 days to cast on one stitch she does not give up.

Emotional: Although it seems mom is getting closer to accepting this disease and the situation she is still lingering in the depression stage. Mom asked one of the doctor this morning, "What are you doing do fix my tumor?" Although mom has been told several times they are not doing treatment any longer, she still thinks that they should be doing something. She cried several times today expressing her fears of dying and not getting to see her grandchildren.

Mentally: Mom's short term memory proves to be a challenge everyday. This is either due to the disease progressing or the amount of drugs she is taking. Either way, please be aware that when you talk with her she might have confusion surrounding time of day and schedules. In no way has her long term been affected - she is full of stories so come and get you some stories before they run out.